CHAPTER 5
Muella was the delight of Mother’s life even though she was sort of an outside cat. She lived in their garage and liked hiding inside the storage closet. Mother would open the garage door a little so Muella could go outside in the yard during the day. She had wandered up to their house at the ranch out of nowhere as a very young cat. She was afraid of people but she was hungry so Mother would put food out for her on the back porch. Muella became friends with Mother although she seemed to be scared of men. Now at probably 13 or 14 years old, she was Mother’s baby.
Just so that you all will know… we are animal lovers but the story I have to tell is a reality living in the country.
I was worried about bringing her to our house. Our dogs love cats…but we have coyotes, bobcats, and our neighbors have seen numerous sightings of mountain lions near Denton Creek which runs very close to our home. We live in the country and don’t have a garage or anywhere cool enough to for her to stay inside. Our storage buildings are open and would be too hot for her to be closed up in during the summer. I am allergic to cats and can’t have them inside.
When we got to my house I had decided that I could make Muella a home in our pump house. It is insulated and stays cool during the summer with plenty of room and a walkway inside all around the pump and tanks. I made her a comfortable bed of hay and dark place to hide in the back of the pump house along with food, water, and her litter box. I told Mother she could let her out during the day when she grew accustomed to her new home. During the next few days Mother consumed herself with going out to see Muella and would let her out of the pump house while she was outside.
Daddy had gone to a new doctor at Comanche hospital before being admitted to the nursing home, one that comes to see patients at Western Hills. His new doctor told me that he wanted him to come back for a few tests the next week. The doctor thought he might have a thyroid condition since he had a very low heart rate and was really lethargic but all the tests came back within the normal range.
Daddy was transported for a second trip to the hospital that week after his tests to the ER for undetermined pain. He was diagnosed with a urinary tract infection that he probably had for quite some time. They gave him antibiotics and sent him back to Western Hills.
The following weekend Mother and I made the trip back to Comanche to visit Daddy. He did not look good to say the least! Mother was upset and told me she wished we could just take him with us. I spoke to the nursing staff and they told me he seemed to be having some pain but couldn’t tell them where…he would try to get up on his own to go to the bathroom and had fallen during the past week…they couldn’t get him to eat much and he didn’t even want to get out of bed.
The next day we went to see Daddy again before we left Comanche for home. He was still very lethargic and only muttered a few words to Mother. She didn’t seem to want to stay long so we left for home. On the way home she really got angry with me because she wanted take him out of the nursing home. No knowing what to do at that point I decided under the circumstances leaving him at Western Hills was the best we could do considering the situation.
Although I realized more and more everyday that Mother had problems of her own it was clear that she would never be able to live alone. She kept on and on at me and resorted to throwing a crying fit about Daddy. At this point I lost my patience with her and told her that if she had accepted my help at a much earlier point Daddy might not be in this situation that it was obvious that she hadn’t been taking care of him…she couldn’t even take care of herself.
I was at a loss to know what to do with little financial resources for his care and many other problems to handle with their personal business and needs. Mother calmed down after our little talk and we settled in at home.
During her second week at our house Mother had decided that Muella could just stay outside and started leaving her out even at night. I suggested several times she should put her in the pump house and just let her out during the day, but she’s accustomed to having her way. Muella started climbing up on the wheel of our old truck that we rarely drive. I specifically asked Mother if Muella ever climbed up under her car while she was in their garage and Mother said that she had not and didn’t seem concerned.
During this time we were having severe weather outbreaks here in North Texas and Comanche was having their share of weather warnings. Our house doesn’t really have a good place to be during a tornado warning. I have a neighbor and close friend, June, a few miles away with a much better place to ride out a storm. If I have time I usually go there especially if Shelby is here at our house. One afternoon we were having particularly bad thunderstorms and tornado warnings were issued for many areas around us. I grabbed Shelby and Mother and got them in Mother’s car so that we could make the run to June’s.
We had gone about a quarter of a mile when I heard a loud bump and looked in the rearview mirror to see an animal flopping about in the road. My heart was beating wildly as I was almost sure this was Muella, she must have crawled up under the hood of Mother’s car. I didn’t stop as the weather was getting worse by the moment and I didn’t want Mother to witness this if it was her cat!
We got to June’s just before it started hailing and pouring rain. Wise County was under a tornado warning as was Comanche county. My cell phone rang and it was JR asking if I had run over Muella. He had jumped in our truck to go up the road to get a better view of the storm clouds and said he was sure that Muella was dead up on the road by our house. I told him what had happened and asked him to please get her off the road before we got home.
No sooner than I ended the call with him than I got another call from Western Hills to tell me they were transporting Daddy back to the ER as he was still having issues with pain. I called Bob to let him know and he and Kay insisted they would make the drive to the hospital which is several miles outside of Comanche on the DeLeon highway during the tornado warning.
JR was calling me with an update about the cat…Western Hills was calling about Daddy…I was calling my brothers to let them know about Daddy…all while June was doing her best to keep Mother occupied as I didn’t want her to hear all the conversations!
Murphy’s Law was certainly at work where we were concerned! A dead cat…Daddy in the hospital…Bob, Kay, and Daddy all out on the road during a tornado warning…JR out in the hail and rain amid a tornado warning…was scraping what was left of Muella off the road. How much more could I take? How in the world was I going to explain all this to Mother?
Luckily it was dark as we made our way back home after the storm. Mother tried calling out to Muella as soon as we got home. She kept telling me that Muella was so afraid of storms. I finally got her to come in the house that night but she was up early the next morning trying to find her cat.
The night of the storm I called one of Mother’s cousins who works with and has some experience dealing with elderly dementia patients. She advised me to not tell Mother of the death of her cat since she would likely forget and keep asking me about her. This would be a tragedy that she would have to experience each time she remembered. She kindly suggested that I tell her that the cat was scared during the storm and probably ran to a neighbor’s and found a new home. Mother went out numerous times during the next few days looking for Muella.
In the next day or two after the storm we decided to go to town for groceries and left the house. As I drove up our road I noticed buzzards flying around near the scene of Muella’s demise. Turning up the radio in the truck I hissed quietly through clenched teeth to JR sitting in the front passenger seat…”Please tell me what you did with that cat?”
Amid rolling eyes he whispered, “Well I intended to come back up here pick it up and bury it…but I forgot.”
Was it not enough that I killed the cat? But to finish it off with this gory scenario…was I to laugh or cry…surely not everyone has such predicaments in their lives! This entire incident was slowly turning into makings of a horror movie! Just think about it…dark clouds…stormy weather…emergency trips to the hospital in the dark of night…Mother with dementia…husband with apparent problems…dead cat…and now…vultures! Need I say more?
Later in the grocery store while Mother was preoccupied looking for something JR tried to explain that he had put the cat in the ditch beside the road as it would have made a mess in the back of the truck. He hadn’t remembered to pick up Muella and bury her. The night of the storm there was a good sized funnel cloud dangling close by our house as he shoveled the cat off the road. He hadn’t entertained the thought of trying to dig a hole to bury the cat in the rocky fossil ridge on our land in the middle of a rain and hail storm with a tornado funnel lingering overhead.
I could only hope that on our return home Mother would not see any trace of her cat in the road. My wish was granted! The buzzards were perched on the fence posts guarding the small pile of bones at the edge of the pavement!
CHAPTER 4
Mother did come right back to the phone to tell me that Daddy had fallen in his very small bathroom. There was lots of blood where he hit his head on the counter of the sink. She was pretty shaken and wanted to go help him. I made her promise me she would call 911 …unlock the doors for them…and then she could go back to Daddy…but not to move him and wait on the paramedics.
He did have to go to the emergency room and I convinced Mother to stay at home as they would surely keep him overnight. They released him in the middle of the night and she ended up driving to the hospital after losing her car keys and not being able to find them for about two hours. He had a big cut on his head with several stitches.
When Quentin and I finally arrived a few days later in Brownwood we didn’t know what to expect and wondered if Daddy would give us any trouble about what we were planning. I had asked Mother to pack his bag with a few essentials and we would bring the rest over the weekend.
Mother and Daddy were sitting in the living room and everything looked pretty good at that point. Of course we were talking to Daddy about his latest fall and looking at his injuries. Mother didn’t remember to pack his bag. We had a doctor’s appointment for Daddy at the Comanche hospital and were pressed for time so I ran to grab a few things for him.
When I saw the state of the rest of the house…needless to say…I was shocked. No wonder she hadn’t packed a bag. Mother always kept her house in good order….kitchen clean…beds made…laundry done…and everything picked up and put away throughout their home. The living room looked good…she must have managed to keep it for home healthcare that came several days a week…but the rest of the house needed attention. It was not dirty but very messy. I could barely find enough clothes to take anything for Daddy.
I’m not telling you this to embarrass them…but I want those of you who might be in this situation to know what you might be facing. I had repeatedly asked Mother if she needed help. I had offered to come and bring them meals already cooked they could put in the freezer and warm up. I mentioned that she might need me to come and help her clean her house but she insisted that she was fine and able to take care of those things.
I began to see the situation was far worse than I had imagined. We got off to Comanche for the doctor’s appointment and on to Western Hills to admit Daddy. At the nursing home…while I was signing my life away for Daddy’s care…Mother and Quentin were busy getting him settled in. It wasn’t too bad…he was in the newer wing and it was in some respect a little homey…with a nice area to eat and watch TV. It was clean and bright with some nice art on the walls. His room was small and the area with his bed left a little to be desired…his roommate was not friendly. Mother announced to me that she wasn’t happy at all with the situation and could not leave him there!
What did she think we were to do…? I reminded her that she wanted him to be at Western Hills and that she couldn’t care for him at home. After saying goodbye to Daddy and telling him we would be back the next day we went back to Brownwood. Mother was not happy. Quentin and I started cleaning house while Mother wandered around in a daze. The more I saw her behavior the more I was beginning to understand there were problems I had not acknowledged in my ignorance.
We could see that Mother needed care just as much as Daddy. I packed her car with boxes and boxes of old photographs and the important things that I knew I wanted to keep for our family along with her clothes and things she would need at my house. Quentin and I spent the rest of the weekend working on the house until we were absolutely exhausted. I washed at least 15 loads of clothes…I couldn’t tell what was clean and what needed to be washed… amid folding and putting away laundry…I cleaned the kitchen and bathrooms.
The more I worked the angrier I felt…that she did not tell me she needed help. I could see that she was not “busy” she hadn’t done anything for a long time. It was obvious to see at that point she couldn’t care for herself much less Daddy…not to speak of their home! It was an appalling sight, to say the least, so out of character for Mother!
There were many strange things around the house…stacks of clothes heaped on the floor in their bedroom and closet. Bottles of skin care and makeup without lids in the bathroom…lids off all her lipstick. The kitchen was in disarray with clean dishes mixed in with dishes to be washed. Food that needed to be in the refrigerator left out on the counter. Lack of food to eat…it was obvious by the burned pots and pans she wasn’t able to cook. What had they been eating? Why hadn’t home health seen this and called me? I knew she probably didn’t let them go anywhere but the living room.
My mother had become the master of deception and concealment. I had a sickening feeling that I was just seeing the tip of an iceberg.
Quentin and I worked until late in the day on Saturday and got the house back into some order. We decided we would not stay through Sunday and would head for home Saturday evening. I was driving Mother’s car home so that she and I could drive back and forth to see Daddy…hopefully once a week. We stopped by Western Hills to see Daddy on our way out of town.
He was in the dining area eating supper when we got there…sitting with several older men at a table. We helped him get back to his room and he wanted to go to bed. As we were saying our goodbyes…I leaned over to give him a kiss and told him we would be back next weekend. He told me not to forget his Ben Green books he even told me where they were in the house. Where did that come from? This man who I wasn’t even sure was aware of what was happening to him to come up with this! I really didn’t know if he even recognized me.
Ben Green was an old cowboy who became a vet and in his later years wrote several books about his life. Daddy and my granddaddy knew him, Daddy had several signed editions of his books which throughout the years were his prized possessions. I already had them packed in Mother’s car.
It was a very tearful goodbye for Mother. She hated leaving him and she hated that she was going home with me. I stopped by Bob and Kay’s, my uncle and aunt’s house before we left town to ask them to check on Daddy if they could and she wouldn’t even get out of the car.
We were not alone on our journey to North Texas…we had Muella, Mother’s cat in a carrier with us. Muella has social issues and is scared of her own shadow…but she was like a child to Mother. She lived in their garage and Mother was just obsessed with her. I knew that I would have to bring her with us. Muella did not like riding in the car…it scared the s___ out of her, quite literally.
Have you ever made a three hour road trip with that smell, a yowling cat…and a distraught Mother? My patience was wearing thin…to put it bluntly!
Stay tuned for the next chapter of this saga…you won’t believe what is to come!
