Leah Dudley

Chapter 7

 

Mother spoke with Daddy for a several minutes after he called her back to his hospital room before we left Comanche for the trip home to my house near Decatur on Sunday afternoon.  She didn’t want to leave but she was consoled to some degree by telling her that Daddy was in a nice place with people caring for him and the reality that he had not much concept of time.  I assured her that we would visit again soon probably the next weekend.

 

During the previous weeks Western Hills and Comanche County Medical Center were so good to keep in close touch with me regarding Daddy.  They called frequently to ask questions about him or to update me on his condition.  That made it much easier to deal with being so far away.

 

After returning home to Decatur on Sunday I was awakened the following Friday morning by a phone call about 7:30 A.M.  It was the hospital calling to say that Daddy was dying.  We needed to come if we could get there in time.  After quickly calling Bob and Kay to ask them to go since we were hours away I called both my brothers to let them know the situation.  At 7:43 I called the hospital back to let them know that Bob was on his way.  They told me that he was already there but that Daddy had died.  His doctor was with him and had tried unsuccessfully to resuscitate him.  They were not aware that I had signed a DNR the day he was admitted to Western Hills just in case of this sort of medical emergency.

 

This news was shocking since his nurses had told us he seemed to be getting better each day.  I called Quentin and Ric to tell them the news.  JR came into my bedroom to question why I was on the phone so early in the morning.  After talking to him for a few minutes the next thing would be to break the news to Mother.

For quite some time I have considered how I would feel about losing my parents.  They were both getting up in years and it was just a matter of time before I would be faced with this situation.  It surprised me not feeling so emotional about his death but rather a sense of relief.  He was not the person I knew lying in the hospital and nursing home and it was hard to see this always vibrant person in that condition.

 

The mental message I sent to him when we visited at Western Hills after that first week came to mind…that it was OK for him to go…he did not have to live in that physical and mental condition.  At that point there was no need to prolong his life for our sake…there was no quality of life and I knew that he wouldn’t want to live under these circumstances.  My dad had always been a person of great faith and that made it easier to let go knowing that he would be in a better place.

 

His own father lingered in a horrible situation after a massive stroke left him in a semi-comatose state for 9 long years.  Daddy would not have wanted that for himself or his family after the experience with his own Dad.

 

Taking a deep breath…I went to Mother’s room and woke her by sitting on the edge of her bed explaining to her exactly what had taken place in the last 30 minutes and that Daddy had died.  She was emotional but took the news fairly well although she questioned why his nurses had told us he seemed to be getting better.  Assuring her he was not alone…Bob and his doctor were both there with him during his last moments.  I’m sure it was somewhat comforting for her to know that his doctor had tried to resuscitate him…she was not aware that a DNR was in place.

 

She got up and dressed while I made a few calls to the funeral home handling his arrangements.  Mother and Daddy decided years ago they wanted to be cremated.  During the past couple of years JR had dealt with the deaths of his daughter and his ex-wife’s husband and I had made all the arrangements for their cremation.  I was prepared and experienced to know what I needed to do for Daddy.

 

It dawned on me to call my friend June to let her know about the situation.  Making the call and telling her the news while standing at the window in my sun room.  Someone was turning in our driveway.

 

She said, “I’m almost to your house.  I’ll be right there!”

 

JR had called her…I don’t know whether it was the fact that he unsure about his capability to deal with my dad’s death, anticipating the possibility of two emotional old women, or most likely the fact that he just couldn’t keep his mouth shut and had to call someone.  But nonetheless…June was here and came in to hear all the details of the morning.

 

Pouring her a cup of coffee we sat around our breakfast table in the sun room discussing the situation.  Mother came in a few minutes later to join us while JR poured her a cup of coffee.  Even with the eventful morning I thought to ask if anyone wanted some breakfast.  Not much deters our family when it comes to food and we usually manage to arrange any situation or occasion to include a meal.

 

JR mentioned that we had Lemon Filled Angel Food Cake in the refrigerator.  June thought that sounded like a really good breakfast…so we all sat around the kitchen table eating cake before 9:00 A.M. hashing over the events of the morning and even laughed a little bit remembering funny stories about our family and Daddy.  He would have loved it!

 

 <Start at the beginning

Remembering my dad

to be continued…